Big Move of May 2nd

Bill Parcells signed by the Liberal party to oversee the rebuild of this once great franchise. After struggling to get by with lameduck leaders the last two elections who resembled the NFL equivalent of Eric Mangini and Rod Marinelli the Liberal party had to make a bold move. Bill Parcells brings instant credibility to the party and has had great success with quickly turning around historic NFL franchises such as the New York Giants, New York Jets, New England Patriots, Dallas Cowboys and most recently the Miami Dolphins. At his press conference on Monday Parcells said that the rebuild should take four years and that he is quite confident his new organization will compete for the top prize in 2015. His goal is to find some young talent that can relate with the younger crowd that just aren't filling the stadium like they used to. He even went as far as to say that he'd try to make a play for outspoken Chad Johnson personalities, which the party has typically not endorsed. 'I think this team's old approach has grown old and after hitting rock bottom like we did on Monday night you have to look at any ways to improve things' Parcells said. When asked if he was concerned about the NDP's recent success and if it posed a threat going forward Parcells said 'No, not at all. Politics is no different than the NFL and you occasionally get a small market team that has one big year but really has no staying power. Take the Cleveland Browns in 2007 for example. They exploited a schedule filled with rebuilding teams and then everyone got delusions of them being a contender for years to come. I even think they networks gave them 5 nationally televised games, which was more than anyonelse. In the end though the Browns went out and spent way too much in the offseason and then completely tanked in 2008. You just can't take teams like that seriously over the long haul and didn't they even go bankrupt back in 95? I'd say the NDP will pretty much go the same way.' When later asked about his opinions on the conservatives Parcells said 'The conservatives have staying power like the Pittsburgh Steelers and will always be tough to beat. They don't do anything spectacular or have any flashy players but they know how to pull out tight games and wear you down. My job is to come up with a counter attack and throw a few deep balls by them like the Packers did this past superbowl.' Finally, Parcells concluded his opening press conference with the Liberals by suggesting that contraction might be a good idea down the road and although it hasn't happened in the NFL there is no reason why the approach shouldn't be taken in Canadian politics. He said 'the Bloc Quebecois and Green Party are obvious targets just like the Panthers and Jaguars are in football. They have a cute local following but just don't relate to people on the national stage. Eventually you just have to stop giving them airtime.'